Das Blog
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
News Flash: Germans Named Europe's "Least Friendly"
And this is not according to ME, but Readers Digest magazine. And not just in the opinion of Americans, but respondents from 19 countries. Germany came out the 'wurst'. Ha. ha.
According to the article "Blame it on the Lederhosen" from Deutsche Welle, Germany still isn't well loved by its neighbors.
Not shocking, I know. Italy scores best over all due to universal love of Italian food and the people with the most 'sex appeal' . Ok, nobody goes to Germany for the food. It's gross, incredibly bland and greasy. Unless you love stinky cheese or beer, it's completely void of 'cuisine'.
Germany's only positive spin: they topped the categories of "most hardworking" and "most efficient." Super. Sounds like a country full of unfriendly, efficient, automaton robots with no sex appeal.
Stop by for a vist, won't you?! I'll take you out for potatoes fried in lard, meat encased in intestines, and beer that will give you a yeast infection, served by an unsmiling robot. Sound fun?
But remember we'll finish the meal with a truly fantastic slice of cake or two.
Current Weather Conditions in Cologne: 52°F (11°C) MIST.
¶ 4:32 PM 12 comments
And this is not according to ME, but Readers Digest magazine. And not just in the opinion of Americans, but respondents from 19 countries. Germany came out the 'wurst'. Ha. ha.According to the article "Blame it on the Lederhosen" from Deutsche Welle, Germany still isn't well loved by its neighbors.
Not shocking, I know. Italy scores best over all due to universal love of Italian food and the people with the most 'sex appeal' . Ok, nobody goes to Germany for the food. It's gross, incredibly bland and greasy. Unless you love stinky cheese or beer, it's completely void of 'cuisine'.
Germany's only positive spin: they topped the categories of "most hardworking" and "most efficient." Super. Sounds like a country full of unfriendly, efficient, automaton robots with no sex appeal.
Stop by for a vist, won't you?! I'll take you out for potatoes fried in lard, meat encased in intestines, and beer that will give you a yeast infection, served by an unsmiling robot. Sound fun?
But remember we'll finish the meal with a truly fantastic slice of cake or two.
Current Weather Conditions in Cologne: 52°F (11°C) MIST.
¶ 4:32 PM 12 comments
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Daily Complaint: The Weather
How can you people *live* here? Every day the same thing. Day in, day out.
Before I moved here I researched the climate a little. 'Little' being the operative word. In my limited research I found Cologne has nearly identical yearly precipitation as Washington DC, and I thought "oh, that's not that bad." What I didn't know was, as opposed to Washington where most of the rain accumulates from 1/2 hour summer thunderstorms dropping a dramatic amount of rain in a short time, in Cologne it's more dispersed.
A lot more dispersed. Like dispersed over 360 days a year falling mostly all day in some form of either drizzle, mist, or shower. We do have, intermittently and unpredictably, windows of clear sky in between the showers. But by the time I notice them they're over, often as soon as you turn away from the window.
Ok, so I'm a big complainer, and in DC I constantly complained about the heat and humidity and the OPRESSIVE sun pounding down on me all summer. And I still hate that. But at least you get some second hand vitaminD to combat the depression. Here it's reason #2 of why everyone (including me) is so cranky, unfriendly and never smiles. At least I won't get wrinkles from smiling or sun damage. ¶ 4:17 PM 4 comments
How can you people *live* here? Every day the same thing. Day in, day out.Before I moved here I researched the climate a little. 'Little' being the operative word. In my limited research I found Cologne has nearly identical yearly precipitation as Washington DC, and I thought "oh, that's not that bad." What I didn't know was, as opposed to Washington where most of the rain accumulates from 1/2 hour summer thunderstorms dropping a dramatic amount of rain in a short time, in Cologne it's more dispersed.
A lot more dispersed. Like dispersed over 360 days a year falling mostly all day in some form of either drizzle, mist, or shower. We do have, intermittently and unpredictably, windows of clear sky in between the showers. But by the time I notice them they're over, often as soon as you turn away from the window.
Ok, so I'm a big complainer, and in DC I constantly complained about the heat and humidity and the OPRESSIVE sun pounding down on me all summer. And I still hate that. But at least you get some second hand vitaminD to combat the depression. Here it's reason #2 of why everyone (including me) is so cranky, unfriendly and never smiles. At least I won't get wrinkles from smiling or sun damage. ¶ 4:17 PM 4 comments
Monday, May 29, 2006
What are you wearing?
This weekend I found the mother lode shoe outlet in Cologne. Sometimes when I find a good outlet, I start to hyperventilate and have trouble focusing. Then I have to remind myself over and over "dont' be greedy" and try to decide on just one or two things. I was unsucessful. I blame K, who got bored and told me "Just get both and let's go!" So I ended up with these two, frighteningly similar shoes:
Adidas Superstar II with red stripe. The 80s hip hop shoe is back. Every time I look at my feet I think "You Be Illin'" (not sure why I don't hear "My ah-DIDAS," but memories are selective.) I did the mature thing and didn't get the ones with the green sparkle stripe, but the more adult subdued classic red. Long live Run DMC.
Adidas Mebourne blue stripe. Strikingly similar, aren't they? But this is the more sophisticated shoe. Ok don't ask me why the hell I bought these, I got greedy, I admit it.
So now I have new problem. Having spent my summer shoe allowance and bought one more pair than I should have and feeling bad, I wish I had a pair of navy blue Chucks. And Chucks aren't cheap. They look cheap, but deceptively expensive. Fingers crossed that as the summer goes on, I learn to love the Superstar and forget about my crush on Chuck. Otherwise I lay awake wallowing in my affluent guilt that my trendy shoes could feed a family of five for a month.
SO what are you wearing?! ¶ 4:49 PM 3 comments
Adidas Superstar II with red stripe. The 80s hip hop shoe is back. Every time I look at my feet I think "You Be Illin'" (not sure why I don't hear "My ah-DIDAS," but memories are selective.) I did the mature thing and didn't get the ones with the green sparkle stripe, but the more adult subdued classic red. Long live Run DMC.
Adidas Mebourne blue stripe. Strikingly similar, aren't they? But this is the more sophisticated shoe. Ok don't ask me why the hell I bought these, I got greedy, I admit it.So now I have new problem. Having spent my summer shoe allowance and bought one more pair than I should have and feeling bad, I wish I had a pair of navy blue Chucks. And Chucks aren't cheap. They look cheap, but deceptively expensive. Fingers crossed that as the summer goes on, I learn to love the Superstar and forget about my crush on Chuck. Otherwise I lay awake wallowing in my affluent guilt that my trendy shoes could feed a family of five for a month.
SO what are you wearing?! ¶ 4:49 PM 3 comments
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Happy Christie Himmelfahrt!
Today's a public holiday in Germany. I should mention there are TONS of public holidays in germany, in addition to the mandatory-by-law-minimum 5 weeks vacation. This is a Catholic country (in theory, not in church going) so every single possible religious holiday is celebrated with a day off.
Even if nobody has any idea what the holiday is or why it's significant. I've asked lots of people what holiday it is and nobody knows. To the outsider it looks like a drinking holiday starting last night with staying out late getting drunk, so bars and restaurants were packed. My sincere inquiry whether any of these people were going to get up and go to church in the morning was met with laughter, which I take it means NO.
I looked it up on the internet, apparently in english it's Corpus Christie, ten days after Pentecost, or Ascention day. That explains a lot (by which I mean nothing) since I don't know what pentecost is. I tried reading about it on Wikipedia but it's too boring.
I guess there are a lot of holidays in the United States that aren't that significant, like Labor Day and Presidents Day etc. And we make it more vulgar by drinking and, in true American style usually making it a big consumer shopping day with special sales. Here they just stay out late and sleep in.
¶ 5:10 PM 4 comments
Today's a public holiday in Germany. I should mention there are TONS of public holidays in germany, in addition to the mandatory-by-law-minimum 5 weeks vacation. This is a Catholic country (in theory, not in church going) so every single possible religious holiday is celebrated with a day off. Even if nobody has any idea what the holiday is or why it's significant. I've asked lots of people what holiday it is and nobody knows. To the outsider it looks like a drinking holiday starting last night with staying out late getting drunk, so bars and restaurants were packed. My sincere inquiry whether any of these people were going to get up and go to church in the morning was met with laughter, which I take it means NO.
I looked it up on the internet, apparently in english it's Corpus Christie, ten days after Pentecost, or Ascention day. That explains a lot (by which I mean nothing) since I don't know what pentecost is. I tried reading about it on Wikipedia but it's too boring.
I guess there are a lot of holidays in the United States that aren't that significant, like Labor Day and Presidents Day etc. And we make it more vulgar by drinking and, in true American style usually making it a big consumer shopping day with special sales. Here they just stay out late and sleep in.
¶ 5:10 PM 4 comments
Monday, May 22, 2006
Two Great Films
I watched two totally different yet totally great films this weekend. Ok, I'm kind of dorky when it comes to films, bit if you don't like one you're bound to like the other. Neither one is feel-good hollywood fluff though, you've been warned.
The Misfits (1961) Written by Arthur Miller, directed by John Huston.
Clark Gable, Marilyn Monroe, Montgomery Clift
The picture on the dvd makes it look some cheesy western, possibly with singing and dancing, but it's so not that at all. It's a depressing and emotional story of four directionless misfits each with his/her own issues. Monroe's character is especially over-sensitive and the conscience of the group (I admit she's a better comedic actor but holds her own here.) Montgomery Clift is great as the strong silent cowboy type, but poor Clark Gable looks like he's wearing a diaper most of the time. By the end you'll be emotionally drained, despite the attempt at what seems a tacked on happy ending.
THX 1138 (1970) Written and directed by George Lucas, starring Robert Duvall
This is Lucas' first full-lenght film, pre star wars and all that. I found this while looking for American Graffiti, which is not available for rental in Germany, but THX 1138 the director's cut is, figure that one out.
But wow, what an amazing find. It's very abstract filmmaking, as was popular in the late sixties/early seventies, with a very loose plot and almost no dialog it's not for everyone. But the look, feel, and sound give a very convicing feel of futuristic foreigness. It's full of the kind of detail of early star wars movies--Lucas is (was) brilliant at creating believeable foreign enviroments and using sound and camera to amazing effect.
It's so completely obvious how set and costume design of The Island was a pathetic rip off from TXH, in fact Island was just a fluffed up, cheesy hollywood take on it. See if you agree.
Just amazing filmmaking, and you can't help thinking "what happened?!" How could someone with this brilliant a start make 'Revenge of the Sith'? ¶ 7:09 PM 1 comments
The Misfits (1961) Written by Arthur Miller, directed by John Huston.Clark Gable, Marilyn Monroe, Montgomery Clift
The picture on the dvd makes it look some cheesy western, possibly with singing and dancing, but it's so not that at all. It's a depressing and emotional story of four directionless misfits each with his/her own issues. Monroe's character is especially over-sensitive and the conscience of the group (I admit she's a better comedic actor but holds her own here.) Montgomery Clift is great as the strong silent cowboy type, but poor Clark Gable looks like he's wearing a diaper most of the time. By the end you'll be emotionally drained, despite the attempt at what seems a tacked on happy ending.
THX 1138 (1970) Written and directed by George Lucas, starring Robert DuvallThis is Lucas' first full-lenght film, pre star wars and all that. I found this while looking for American Graffiti, which is not available for rental in Germany, but THX 1138 the director's cut is, figure that one out.
But wow, what an amazing find. It's very abstract filmmaking, as was popular in the late sixties/early seventies, with a very loose plot and almost no dialog it's not for everyone. But the look, feel, and sound give a very convicing feel of futuristic foreigness. It's full of the kind of detail of early star wars movies--Lucas is (was) brilliant at creating believeable foreign enviroments and using sound and camera to amazing effect.
It's so completely obvious how set and costume design of The Island was a pathetic rip off from TXH, in fact Island was just a fluffed up, cheesy hollywood take on it. See if you agree.
Just amazing filmmaking, and you can't help thinking "what happened?!" How could someone with this brilliant a start make 'Revenge of the Sith'? ¶ 7:09 PM 1 comments
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Gifts and The Misguided Thougts Behind Them
It's the thought that counts, even when there's clearly no thought involved. I continue to be amused by gifts my friends get from boyfriends. Whenever a friend gets a particularly bad gift from a boyfriend, I alwaystry to tell them it doesn't (necessarily) mean he doesn't love you, or that he wasn't thinking, but that he just doesn't get it.
I once had a roommate who was the down to earth crunchy granola type. Her long-term boyfriend gave her for Christmas a lime green sequined nylon pantsuit. I never saw it, but she decribed it like one of those cheesy nylon liesure suits women in Las Vegas or New Jersey wore mainly in the early ninetys. She said it was as if he walked into a store and pointed to the first thing he saw and said "I'll take that." Clearly no thought involved.
Another friend T was kind-of sort-of dating a guy. For christmas during the kind-of sort-of period he gave her a lovely set of (name brand) china salad tongs. That's right, salad tongs. Not the kind of thing you want even from a family member, and especially not from a guy your kind-of sort-of dating. I personally think it was a recycled gift of some sort that seemed to him vaguely female appropriate. But he obviously just didn't get it either.
My friend M was dating a guy who for Valentine's Day gave her a bag of oranges. Not a gourmet gift basket of oranges, but a plastic mesh bag of oranges from Kroger. She chucked them one-by-one into the woods and felt good about doing her part to combat scurvey in the squirrel population. The relationship ended soon after.
So usually it means he doesn't get it. Maybe not always. Decide for yourself. And please share away with more amusing and ill-advised gifts to and from loved ones. ¶ 6:40 PM 2 comments
I once had a roommate who was the down to earth crunchy granola type. Her long-term boyfriend gave her for Christmas a lime green sequined nylon pantsuit. I never saw it, but she decribed it like one of those cheesy nylon liesure suits women in Las Vegas or New Jersey wore mainly in the early ninetys. She said it was as if he walked into a store and pointed to the first thing he saw and said "I'll take that." Clearly no thought involved.
Another friend T was kind-of sort-of dating a guy. For christmas during the kind-of sort-of period he gave her a lovely set of (name brand) china salad tongs. That's right, salad tongs. Not the kind of thing you want even from a family member, and especially not from a guy your kind-of sort-of dating. I personally think it was a recycled gift of some sort that seemed to him vaguely female appropriate. But he obviously just didn't get it either.
My friend M was dating a guy who for Valentine's Day gave her a bag of oranges. Not a gourmet gift basket of oranges, but a plastic mesh bag of oranges from Kroger. She chucked them one-by-one into the woods and felt good about doing her part to combat scurvey in the squirrel population. The relationship ended soon after.
So usually it means he doesn't get it. Maybe not always. Decide for yourself. And please share away with more amusing and ill-advised gifts to and from loved ones. ¶ 6:40 PM 2 comments
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
How do I live without this?
I know I live in another country, almost another planet, but have you seen this? What gives? Cool idea, I guess, but it doesn't look like any fun to play with. Couldn't she have real, fabric clothes, and maybe a pony?
Jane Austen Action Figure
Jane Austen was one of the greatest English novelists in history. Despite a rather sheltered life, she was able to capture the subtleties of human interaction so perfectly that her novels continue to be immensely popular to this day. This 5-1/4" tall, hard vinyl action figure comes with a book (Pride & Prejudice) and a writing desk with removable quill pen!
I know I live in another country, almost another planet, but have you seen this? What gives? Cool idea, I guess, but it doesn't look like any fun to play with. Couldn't she have real, fabric clothes, and maybe a pony?Jane Austen Action Figure
Jane Austen was one of the greatest English novelists in history. Despite a rather sheltered life, she was able to capture the subtleties of human interaction so perfectly that her novels continue to be immensely popular to this day. This 5-1/4" tall, hard vinyl action figure comes with a book (Pride & Prejudice) and a writing desk with removable quill pen!
¶ 5:13 PM 5 comments
Sunday, May 14, 2006
It's called 'Dignity'
(This is the last dog-blog post for a while, I swear.)
Some things I like best about my dog are the things she DOESN'T do. For instance she's not an "outdoorsy" dog, in fact she's very "indoorsy." She rolls her eyes when a walk is suggested, and prefers to stay in bed.
She also doesn't do vulgar dog things like BARK or act as a watchdog in any way. And it would be beneath her fetch anything, or catch a frisbee or similar object like the outdoorsy breeds.
No interest in water sports.
The only remotely interesting outdoor activity is HUNTING, but even this she's getting over since it requires jumping and getting excited.
It's as if she has an innate sense of dignity and decorum without being prissy. In return there are certain things I have vowed to her she will never, ever be required to do:
She will never, ever wear antlers, or party hats of any kind, a bow tie or bandana, or (worst of all) sunglasses.
There will be no posing for photos in 'people' positions such as playing a piano, using a computer, or riding a skateboard.
She will never be asked to learn a dance routine from the 'Grease' soundtrack, or do any stupid tricks for that matter. Basic obedience is fine, cutesy tricks are not.
In short, nothing humiliating like THIS .
¶ 9:30 PM 3 comments
Some things I like best about my dog are the things she DOESN'T do. For instance she's not an "outdoorsy" dog, in fact she's very "indoorsy." She rolls her eyes when a walk is suggested, and prefers to stay in bed.
She also doesn't do vulgar dog things like BARK or act as a watchdog in any way. And it would be beneath her fetch anything, or catch a frisbee or similar object like the outdoorsy breeds.
No interest in water sports.
The only remotely interesting outdoor activity is HUNTING, but even this she's getting over since it requires jumping and getting excited.
It's as if she has an innate sense of dignity and decorum without being prissy. In return there are certain things I have vowed to her she will never, ever be required to do:
She will never, ever wear antlers, or party hats of any kind, a bow tie or bandana, or (worst of all) sunglasses.
There will be no posing for photos in 'people' positions such as playing a piano, using a computer, or riding a skateboard.
She will never be asked to learn a dance routine from the 'Grease' soundtrack, or do any stupid tricks for that matter. Basic obedience is fine, cutesy tricks are not.
In short, nothing humiliating like THIS .
¶ 9:30 PM 3 comments
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
The Dog Blog
Conchitaweeta! Just kidding, but I really like Dari's idea of a made up spanish sounding name. How do you pronounce Pilar, is it Pee-lar or Pie-lar?
Is Agata really that bad anyway? I'm starting to like it, and we already call her that about half the time and OLIVE the other half (from my fav dog story Olive the Other Reindeer.)
So here are the updates: she played with her toy rat today! but she's also having bad dreams where she whines twitches. Not much luck housebreaking either, she gets stagefright from the activity outside and can't go. ¶ 6:08 PM 3 comments
Conchitaweeta! Just kidding, but I really like Dari's idea of a made up spanish sounding name. How do you pronounce Pilar, is it Pee-lar or Pie-lar? Is Agata really that bad anyway? I'm starting to like it, and we already call her that about half the time and OLIVE the other half (from my fav dog story Olive the Other Reindeer.)
So here are the updates: she played with her toy rat today! but she's also having bad dreams where she whines twitches. Not much luck housebreaking either, she gets stagefright from the activity outside and can't go. ¶ 6:08 PM 3 comments
Monday, May 08, 2006
Meet (and help me rename) AGATA!
We finally got a dog! How long have I had serious greyhound lust, 5 years? Finally.
Agata's a cute little greyhound from a racetrack in Barcelona that closed. She was lucky enough to make it into an animal shelter in Spain, then a shelter in Belgium, then to us. She has a passport in Catalan.
And she's uber-cutie! It looks like she's been well taken care of, except she's really dirty.
So what in the world should I call her? She doesn't answer to Agata so it doesn't even have to be close. What's a good Spanish girls' name? ¶ 3:19 PM 3 comments
We finally got a dog! How long have I had serious greyhound lust, 5 years? Finally.
Agata's a cute little greyhound from a racetrack in Barcelona that closed. She was lucky enough to make it into an animal shelter in Spain, then a shelter in Belgium, then to us. She has a passport in Catalan.
And she's uber-cutie! It looks like she's been well taken care of, except she's really dirty.
So what in the world should I call her? She doesn't answer to Agata so it doesn't even have to be close. What's a good Spanish girls' name? ¶ 3:19 PM 3 comments
Thursday, May 04, 2006
World Cup Mania
Germany's hosting the soccer world cup this year. Unlike say the 'world series' in baseball which isn't really 'world' anything because only US teams play, this is actually the best players from a bunch of countries playing against each other. At least I think it is, and I'm certain about the many countries part.
And Germany's all excited. They've already announced that stores and brothels can stay open late 7 days a week! But only during the tournament for the tourists, then it's back to never or rarely open random days a week for us local people who don't deserve convenient hours.
Now whenever I buy something, like a bag of chips or a DEODORANT, it comes with the silly world cup logo on it. This logo embarasses me it's so bad, like an explosion of emoticons.
But trophy is more on the creepy side. This thing is really wierd, it scares me. It kind of looks like an ice cream cone. Really though, it looks like something that takes batteries and is better made of latex, not gold plated. The winner gets to take THIS home:
¶ 7:31 PM 6 comments
And Germany's all excited. They've already announced that stores and brothels can stay open late 7 days a week! But only during the tournament for the tourists, then it's back to never or rarely open random days a week for us local people who don't deserve convenient hours. Now whenever I buy something, like a bag of chips or a DEODORANT, it comes with the silly world cup logo on it. This logo embarasses me it's so bad, like an explosion of emoticons.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Nice Haystacks
Sometimes it's fun being a foreign speaker-- you say the stupidist things. Often it's the listener's stifled giggling that gives it away.
Once I told a pharmacist (in german) "my stomach hurts" while pointing to my throat, but usually I'm clueless why they're giggling.
My friend's example is the classic: She needed a hairbrush. The german word for 'brush' is 'bürste'--dangerously similar, with the critical reversal of the u and r. In her best german she accidentally asked a typically-not-so-friendly older Cologne sales lady "Haben Sie Haare Bruste" or "Do you have hair breasts?" Friend said the saleslady was NOT amused.
I know I have a juvenile sense of humor, but can you imagine?
¶ 5:23 PM 1 comments
Once I told a pharmacist (in german) "my stomach hurts" while pointing to my throat, but usually I'm clueless why they're giggling.
My friend's example is the classic: She needed a hairbrush. The german word for 'brush' is 'bürste'--dangerously similar, with the critical reversal of the u and r. In her best german she accidentally asked a typically-not-so-friendly older Cologne sales lady "Haben Sie Haare Bruste" or "Do you have hair breasts?" Friend said the saleslady was NOT amused.I know I have a juvenile sense of humor, but can you imagine?
¶ 5:23 PM 1 comments
