Das Blog
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Stevie Nicks meets Little House on the Prarie
Have I ranted to you on the subject of how appalled I am by women's fashion this summer? Well I'm ranting some more. It could not be a worse combination of unappealing fabrics in unflattering cuts, or at least the worst combo since 1971.
Right is a prime example of what I consider the Stevie Nicks meets Little House on the Prarie look, this one a little more Prarie than Nicks. Tell me, is there any possible figure-type besides pregnant that might be flattered by this look? There's no waistline, not to mention they've combined hundreds of hideous calico scrap into one dress.
And on the side of more Nicks than Prarie we have the white eyelet fabric known in sheets and bedspreads of yore, now showing up in clothing for adult women.
Why all the droopyness, are you TRYING to make us look fat and slouchy? Why would this woman want to hide her hips and legs under long, flowing hippie skirts?
To accesorize my Nicks-Prarie outfit, I'm expected to wear classic "Old Lady Junk Jewelry," the kind the retired, drunk sculptor-lady with lots of cats in your neighborhood wore in 1979.
Doesn't this necklace just scream Modern Sophistication?! It looks like she made it at summer camp on acid. The headband's a nice touch too.
I refuse. As much as I constantly need new clothes, I WILL NOT go there. Not even close. There is no calico in my closet, and my credit card stayed in the wallet on my first summer shopping trip and stayed there all summer.
As a result, any time you see me between late June and end of August you can count on my uniform of jean skirt, polo and flip flops. Unoriginal, boring, predictable, I know, but completely without shame. ¶ 9:57 PM 4 comments
Right is a prime example of what I consider the Stevie Nicks meets Little House on the Prarie look, this one a little more Prarie than Nicks. Tell me, is there any possible figure-type besides pregnant that might be flattered by this look? There's no waistline, not to mention they've combined hundreds of hideous calico scrap into one dress.
And on the side of more Nicks than Prarie we have the white eyelet fabric known in sheets and bedspreads of yore, now showing up in clothing for adult women.Why all the droopyness, are you TRYING to make us look fat and slouchy? Why would this woman want to hide her hips and legs under long, flowing hippie skirts?
To accesorize my Nicks-Prarie outfit, I'm expected to wear classic "Old Lady Junk Jewelry," the kind the retired, drunk sculptor-lady with lots of cats in your neighborhood wore in 1979.
Doesn't this necklace just scream Modern Sophistication?! It looks like she made it at summer camp on acid. The headband's a nice touch too.
I refuse. As much as I constantly need new clothes, I WILL NOT go there. Not even close. There is no calico in my closet, and my credit card stayed in the wallet on my first summer shopping trip and stayed there all summer.
As a result, any time you see me between late June and end of August you can count on my uniform of jean skirt, polo and flip flops. Unoriginal, boring, predictable, I know, but completely without shame. ¶ 9:57 PM 4 comments
Friday, July 21, 2006
More Complaining
Tomorrow morning at 8am I'm taking the train to Amsterdam. I've been really excited about this trip until recently, very recently. Like yesterday, when I looked at the weather forecast and saw it's supposed to be in the 90s. In *Amsterdam* where the average high in July is 71F! What the hell is going on?
And in case you're wondering just how cute my dog is (n) here's a picture. Enjoy her cuteness. PINCHY!
¶ 3:33 PM 4 comments
And in case you're wondering just how cute my dog is (n) here's a picture. Enjoy her cuteness. PINCHY!
¶ 3:33 PM 4 comments
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Back to the Regular Complaining
It's HOT AS HELL here! And I'm not just whining, yesterday it was 97°F, and it's supposed to be mid-90s again today. This is a land with no air-conditioning. I mean nowhere, not movie theaters, airports, stores, trains, nothing. So even when it's only 85°F outdoors, it's 105°F indoors. And don't tell me to open a window, where are the windows in the movie theater, or the airport?
I may just be the one person in Cologne with an personal air conditioner in my apartment. But I can't turn it on. Here's why (and you may want to stop reading at this point if you're easily upset, like I am, because the following is thoroughly depressing.)
I just found out I caused the famine in Ethiopia in the 1980s. Me, and you, and everyone in North America and Europe. They finally figured out what caused it: our pollution.
Literally. Not the chemical pollution like c02 that's ruining the ozone, but our particle polution like soot and grime, the stuff that causes haze. A huge cloud of haze hovered over the sea, reflecting the sunligh back out into space. The sunlight failed to heat and evaporate the sea water which usually travels over Africa and creates the monsoon.
So the particle pollution you and I created by running our air-conditioners, hair dryers, dishwashers and cars directly lead to the deaths of thousands of people from starvation in Africa.
The good news, in a way, is that the US and Europe have cut way back on particle pollution by cleaning exhaust (though we haven't cut back much at all on c02 pollution). Turns out that haze was reflecting a lot of HEAT back into the atmosphere, cancelling out some of the global warming. So global warming is actually happening faster than we thought, because our own pollution was protecting us a little.
Ironic, isn't it? Therefore, roasting as I am, I'm loathe to turn on the air-conditioner. Those were real actual people who starved to death for my (our) lifestyle. I like to try to pretend that my lifestyle really doesn't harm anyone, maybe only indirectly, but I've been proven wrong. It makes a huge difference, and not just Karma, but actual direct harm.
Does a fan use substantially less energy than a/c?
¶ 1:13 PM 7 comments
I may just be the one person in Cologne with an personal air conditioner in my apartment. But I can't turn it on. Here's why (and you may want to stop reading at this point if you're easily upset, like I am, because the following is thoroughly depressing.)
I just found out I caused the famine in Ethiopia in the 1980s. Me, and you, and everyone in North America and Europe. They finally figured out what caused it: our pollution.
Literally. Not the chemical pollution like c02 that's ruining the ozone, but our particle polution like soot and grime, the stuff that causes haze. A huge cloud of haze hovered over the sea, reflecting the sunligh back out into space. The sunlight failed to heat and evaporate the sea water which usually travels over Africa and creates the monsoon.
So the particle pollution you and I created by running our air-conditioners, hair dryers, dishwashers and cars directly lead to the deaths of thousands of people from starvation in Africa.
The good news, in a way, is that the US and Europe have cut way back on particle pollution by cleaning exhaust (though we haven't cut back much at all on c02 pollution). Turns out that haze was reflecting a lot of HEAT back into the atmosphere, cancelling out some of the global warming. So global warming is actually happening faster than we thought, because our own pollution was protecting us a little.
Ironic, isn't it? Therefore, roasting as I am, I'm loathe to turn on the air-conditioner. Those were real actual people who starved to death for my (our) lifestyle. I like to try to pretend that my lifestyle really doesn't harm anyone, maybe only indirectly, but I've been proven wrong. It makes a huge difference, and not just Karma, but actual direct harm.
Does a fan use substantially less energy than a/c?
¶ 1:13 PM 7 comments
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
The Crime Scene: a Flower Box
The weapon: a football. A ten-year-old boy from Buchheim is being sued by a retired granny for damages to her geraniums when his football went into her garden. Or as the granny says, he "brutalized" her geraniums.
Some lawyer actually took this case and it's going to court. This is what it's like living in a affluent country with no crime. ¶ 2:52 PM 10 comments
Some lawyer actually took this case and it's going to court. This is what it's like living in a affluent country with no crime. ¶ 2:52 PM 10 comments
Thursday, July 13, 2006
EW!
Forgive the recycled celebrity gossip from other blogs, but life here is dull. I'm sparing you from the antics of dog training, so no complaining. Plus this was just so gross.
No, it's not Britney Spears. Kiera Knightly walks barefoot (barefoot!) in London. I had to say "EW!" out loud, three times, progressively louder, when I saw this. Just thinking about it totally gives me the skeevies. It starts with a shudder over the dress (what the..?) . If I were a gajillionaire I wouldn't be dressing like an office temp circa 1990, did she get that at Dress Barn? And you couldn't even throw on a pair of flip flops? Kiera Kiera Kiera.
¶ 4:08 PM 8 comments
No, it's not Britney Spears. Kiera Knightly walks barefoot (barefoot!) in London. I had to say "EW!" out loud, three times, progressively louder, when I saw this. Just thinking about it totally gives me the skeevies. It starts with a shudder over the dress (what the..?) . If I were a gajillionaire I wouldn't be dressing like an office temp circa 1990, did she get that at Dress Barn? And you couldn't even throw on a pair of flip flops? Kiera Kiera Kiera.
¶ 4:08 PM 8 comments
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Pantless Italian
Sorry to tease, but I couldn't find a photo of the Italian soccer player running around with no pants on after winning the World Cup. He was, thankfully, wearing white underpants, but this reminded me of the differences in the way European and American men behave. I'm pretty sure no US player from any sport, on any team, would run around kissing his teammates with no pans on.
So I'm glad it's over anyway. I'm not watching another soccer game for a long time.
Instead of the pantless italian I'm posting a pic of Nicole Kidman shopping at Target. Is she a fan of Xhiliration underwear too? And why does she need a Swiffer?
And isn't it charming how her husband always opens the car door for her? Chivalry is not dead.
¶ 4:29 PM 3 comments
So I'm glad it's over anyway. I'm not watching another soccer game for a long time.
Instead of the pantless italian I'm posting a pic of Nicole Kidman shopping at Target. Is she a fan of Xhiliration underwear too? And why does she need a Swiffer?
And isn't it charming how her husband always opens the car door for her? Chivalry is not dead.¶ 4:29 PM 3 comments
Saturday, July 08, 2006
I (heart) Madeleine Albright*
*Ironically I hated her policy when whe was secretary of state under Clinton, but like Jimmy Carter I've developed a fuzzy sentimental feeling about her since. Every, single, time I read an article or even a quote my heart beats a little faster, sometimes tears well up, and always I think to myself 'right ON!'
Take these from a recent FT article:
'George Bush's administration has in her eyes made the world a much worse place to live.'
"We've damaged our reputation very badly. Iraq may turn out to be the greatest disaster in US foreign policy, which by its very nature means it's worse than Vietnam"
So here's my schoolgirl fantasy: Hilary Clinton runs against Condoleeza Rice in the next election. Clinton wins, re-appoints Albright as her secretary of state.
or maybe better: Schwartzenegger bribes his connections to change the constitution so he can run for president. He doesn't get nominated by his party, but has opened the door for Albright to run and she becomes PRESIDENT! risky, I know, considering the American people are stupid when voting is involved, but can they be that stupid?
¶ 1:05 PM 2 comments
Take these from a recent FT article:
'George Bush's administration has in her eyes made the world a much worse place to live.'
"We've damaged our reputation very badly. Iraq may turn out to be the greatest disaster in US foreign policy, which by its very nature means it's worse than Vietnam"
So here's my schoolgirl fantasy: Hilary Clinton runs against Condoleeza Rice in the next election. Clinton wins, re-appoints Albright as her secretary of state.
or maybe better: Schwartzenegger bribes his connections to change the constitution so he can run for president. He doesn't get nominated by his party, but has opened the door for Albright to run and she becomes PRESIDENT! risky, I know, considering the American people are stupid when voting is involved, but can they be that stupid?
¶ 1:05 PM 2 comments
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
I'm not complaining
Could it be that watermelons have fewer seeds now than they did when we were kids? Have you noticed this? Or did I just spend more time finding and extracting them before, and now I can't be bothered?
¶ 2:39 PM 1 comments
