Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Stevie Nicks meets Little House on the Prarie
Have I ranted to you on the subject of how appalled I am by women's fashion this summer? Well I'm ranting some more. It could not be a worse combination of unappealing fabrics in unflattering cuts, or at least the worst combo since 1971.
Right is a prime example of what I consider the Stevie Nicks meets Little House on the Prarie look, this one a little more Prarie than Nicks. Tell me, is there any possible figure-type besides pregnant that might be flattered by this look? There's no waistline, not to mention they've combined hundreds of hideous calico scrap into one dress.
And on the side of more Nicks than Prarie we have the white eyelet fabric known in sheets and bedspreads of yore, now showing up in clothing for adult women.
Why all the droopyness, are you TRYING to make us look fat and slouchy? Why would this woman want to hide her hips and legs under long, flowing hippie skirts?
To accesorize my Nicks-Prarie outfit, I'm expected to wear classic "Old Lady Junk Jewelry," the kind the retired, drunk sculptor-lady with lots of cats in your neighborhood wore in 1979.
Doesn't this necklace just scream Modern Sophistication?! It looks like she made it at summer camp on acid. The headband's a nice touch too.
I refuse. As much as I constantly need new clothes, I WILL NOT go there. Not even close. There is no calico in my closet, and my credit card stayed in the wallet on my first summer shopping trip and stayed there all summer.
As a result, any time you see me between late June and end of August you can count on my uniform of jean skirt, polo and flip flops. Unoriginal, boring, predictable, I know, but completely without shame. ¶ 9:57 PM
Right is a prime example of what I consider the Stevie Nicks meets Little House on the Prarie look, this one a little more Prarie than Nicks. Tell me, is there any possible figure-type besides pregnant that might be flattered by this look? There's no waistline, not to mention they've combined hundreds of hideous calico scrap into one dress.
And on the side of more Nicks than Prarie we have the white eyelet fabric known in sheets and bedspreads of yore, now showing up in clothing for adult women.Why all the droopyness, are you TRYING to make us look fat and slouchy? Why would this woman want to hide her hips and legs under long, flowing hippie skirts?
To accesorize my Nicks-Prarie outfit, I'm expected to wear classic "Old Lady Junk Jewelry," the kind the retired, drunk sculptor-lady with lots of cats in your neighborhood wore in 1979.
Doesn't this necklace just scream Modern Sophistication?! It looks like she made it at summer camp on acid. The headband's a nice touch too.
I refuse. As much as I constantly need new clothes, I WILL NOT go there. Not even close. There is no calico in my closet, and my credit card stayed in the wallet on my first summer shopping trip and stayed there all summer.
As a result, any time you see me between late June and end of August you can count on my uniform of jean skirt, polo and flip flops. Unoriginal, boring, predictable, I know, but completely without shame. ¶ 9:57 PM
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i have decided to embrace eyelet this year. i'm even wearing white. i don't know what's come over me.
addendum: i have yet to embrace the chunky jewelry, however. that's just too much like what my elderly relatives used to wear back in the day. or like something worn by an aging hippie singing "kum bay ya" around the campfire. shudder.
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