Friday, March 24, 2006
Me Walk Pretty One Day
Remember that David Sedaris story where he can't find a volunteering job in Europe because the government pays everyone to do everything? Right.
I live in the special part of Europe known as Germany, the world masters of burocracy, the land where you need a permit, certificate or license from the government to cross the street.
I tried the old folks home run by nuns, but unfortunately no, I do not have a special degree in old folks, and didn't realize I needed one to chat and play checkers. I tried the Red Cross, but they only take volunteers at the far away main office, and then only to people with medical skills. I offered to lick envelopes or whatever. No! No volunteers!
Finally the animal shelter occured to me. Nothing about volunteering on their web site, but they clearly have hundreds of dogs in need of walking and cats in need of petting. Plus a full-time staff of vetrinarians, certified animal care workers, and a landscaper. You'll notice too this shelter probably looks way better than your last hotel in Europe, and each dog has his or her own mini-chalet-style quarters. This part of europe is great, the part where they are humane and never kill animals (well except medical research...) or prisoners.
Although the official opening hours are only 2pm to 5pm daily, I took a chance and stopped by. A semi-friendly worker, who had by the way the most incredible orange mask of fake-bake and whose cigarette smoke was blowing directly into the face of a rabbit caged barely 12 inches away, informed me that to walk dogs I would need to take a test at the City Vetrinary Office and become a certified dog walker.
Fine. How hard can it be (even in German)? I downloaded it --20 PAGES! Here's a sample question:
Your dog is running free, and after calling several times doesn't come to you. What should you do?
The correct answer is d.) Turn and walk away.
(No really, that's really the right answer according to this test.) ¶ 6:27 PM
I live in the special part of Europe known as Germany, the world masters of burocracy, the land where you need a permit, certificate or license from the government to cross the street.
I tried the old folks home run by nuns, but unfortunately no, I do not have a special degree in old folks, and didn't realize I needed one to chat and play checkers. I tried the Red Cross, but they only take volunteers at the far away main office, and then only to people with medical skills. I offered to lick envelopes or whatever. No! No volunteers!
Finally the animal shelter occured to me. Nothing about volunteering on their web site, but they clearly have hundreds of dogs in need of walking and cats in need of petting. Plus a full-time staff of vetrinarians, certified animal care workers, and a landscaper. You'll notice too this shelter probably looks way better than your last hotel in Europe, and each dog has his or her own mini-chalet-style quarters. This part of europe is great, the part where they are humane and never kill animals (well except medical research...) or prisoners.
Although the official opening hours are only 2pm to 5pm daily, I took a chance and stopped by. A semi-friendly worker, who had by the way the most incredible orange mask of fake-bake and whose cigarette smoke was blowing directly into the face of a rabbit caged barely 12 inches away, informed me that to walk dogs I would need to take a test at the City Vetrinary Office and become a certified dog walker.Fine. How hard can it be (even in German)? I downloaded it --20 PAGES! Here's a sample question:
Your dog is running free, and after calling several times doesn't come to you. What should you do?The correct answer is d.) Turn and walk away.
(No really, that's really the right answer according to this test.) ¶ 6:27 PM
Comments:
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ROFL!!
I LOVE the b&w dog clip art!
damn that place would drive me bonkers, i'm surprised you held out for so long.
maybe you should mention your pinching and toy nibling skills. not sure what that qualifies you for..but seems they ahve job for everything :)
good luck on your test!
n
I LOVE the b&w dog clip art!
damn that place would drive me bonkers, i'm surprised you held out for so long.
maybe you should mention your pinching and toy nibling skills. not sure what that qualifies you for..but seems they ahve job for everything :)
good luck on your test!
n
# posted by 
: 3:47 PM
: 3:47 PM
thanks everyone. and n, those clip art dogs are right from the test. More ridiculous test questions/artwork coming up.
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